all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
