how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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