Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
