A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize