K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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