dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
