About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
