yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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