But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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