he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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