Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
