Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
