I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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