I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
