I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
