I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
