I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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