i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
