We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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