Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize