I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
