I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
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