i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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