True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Did I show you my penis last night?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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