See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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