I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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