I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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