STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
