i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
