I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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