we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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