Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
