I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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