If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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