I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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