I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
