That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
