Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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