If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
and you fell through a lawn chair
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
