normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I need moral support for this bender
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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