i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
