And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
