She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
