Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
