38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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