I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
