Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
