you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
