ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
