after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
