I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
