Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
