Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
