Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
