You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My liver just had a heart attack.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
