apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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