i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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