do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
