i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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