she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
